Friday, February 20, 2009

The Week In Sport

By Bub

This week was witness to sporting history as several clubs in many fields of competition prevailed victoriously while leaving their opponents glory-less and dejected. Ardent enthusiasts on both sides experienced emotional extremes as the fate of their favorite sporting clubs in the particular matches of the week became adopted as fate of all.

Many championships were championed.

Several lesser sporting clubs committed regulation fouls and were penalized accordingly.

The preeminent sporter of Sport made controversial remarks regarding the state of his particular sport, claiming that opposition sporters had much life reflection to undertake and much rote rehearsal of basic sporting maneuvers to embark upon before such a time that they could exhibit sporting skills on a competitive level comparable to that of the preeminent sporter.

A revered Sporting Legend was subject to public scorn and social embarrassment by committing an infraction of law, of which he first claimed innocence, then immediately pledged to abstain from such infractions in the future.

The coach of an Easterly sporting club behaved in an austere fashion after his sporting club exhibited what he considered to be sub-standard performance at sport. He claimed their lackluster execution of specifically designed sporting plays was a matter of neglectful treachery and a result of the sporters’ willful inhabitation of an undisciplined state. Apologists claimed that this was due to the sporters’ youthfulness and lack of post-secondary education. With the proper mentorship, their sporting capabilities ought be brought ‘up to snuff’, as it were. And with persistent emotional support these tender young roustabouts could be transformed into model citizenry with the requisite charitable contributions and exhibitions of goodwill by reading schoolbooks to schoolchildren. The Easterly coach balked at the suggestion and submitted a letter of resignation of which he expected recognition and acceptance of forthwith. The matter is still pending.

Several records were broken. The record breakers swiftly became subjects of short lived national pride and enjoyed a celebrity status their particular sporting fields rarely afford.

All in all these happenings produced an exciting week in sport. As in the epic conquests throughout history, there were those fallen and those left standing. In contrast to epic historical conquests however there was relative less bloodshed, and a great deal less religious motivation. As Pontious Pilate famously remarked to his fellow trigonali on the court of Trigon once the ball-of-play was retrieved by the pilecripi, ‘Play on!’

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