Friday, February 20, 2009

Timothy Geithner V. China

By Bub
From the front page of the New York Times
Timothy Geithner says China is manipulating currency
The following should be read in the style of Norm McDonald on Weekend Update circa 1996

Timothy Geithner says China is manipulating currency… and his emotions ;> (that is supposed to be a wink emoticon).

Timothy Geithner says China is manipulating currency… China says Timothy Geithner is bad in bed.

Timothy Geithner says China is manipulating currency… China says it is taking measures to stimulate economic growth and safeguard people’s livelihoods in the wake of the worldwide financial crisis.

Timothy Geithner says China is manipulating currency… and he would rather it manipulate some General Tso’s Chicken – Hiyo!.

Timothy Geithner says China is manipulating currency… he then added, ‘good for them, it’s about time’.

Timothy Geithner says China is manipulating currency… and this is much more serious than being the world’s worst human rights abuser.

Timothy Geithner says China is manipulating currency… Currency said it could defend itself, thank you.

Timothy Geithner says China is manipulating currency… and that currency thinks it needs to be abused by China in order to feel wanted, and Timothy Geithner says he could offer currency a more emotionally supportive relationship.

Timothy Geithner says China is manipulating currency…China says ‘Timothy Geithner was the one that broke up with China, and what China does with currency has no bearing on Timothy Geithner, and that Timothy Geithner should let China and currency just get on with their lives, and China congratulates Timothy Geithner on his new job in the Obama administration and China thinks it will be good for him, and will get Timothy Geithner out of the house, and China wants Timothy Geithner to know that he’s a really good guy and just because China has moved on doesn’t change that and that Timothy Geithner will find someone very special very soon, he just needs to put himself out there, and China wants Timothy Geithner to know that it’d be nice to get together for coffee sometime.’

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